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Big Show’s Girlfriend. Big Show is single. He is not dating anyone currently. Big had at least 1 relationship in the past. Big Show has not been previously engaged. He had a daughter with his first wife, Melissa Ann Piavis, whom he married on February 14, 1997 and divorced on February 6, 2002. See all The Big Show's marriages, divorces, hookups, break ups, affairs, and dating relationships plus celebrity photos, latest The Big Show news, gossip, and biography. The Big Show is currently married to Bess Katramados. He has been in two celebrity relationships averaging approximately 11.7 years each. His two marriages have averaged 11.7 years each. The Dating Naked reality show flew singles to tropical locales to go on jet-skiing and horseback-riding dates in their birthday suits. While the premise got a lot of buzz, the series was plagued ... More Deep Thoughts From John Boy in the Year 2037. 9/01/2020. 8/31/2020 Dating Around: the new Netflix reality show you'll love to hate Profile Menu. This show had good intentions: Bring stream along to help you pick the right girl. But in a show and unsettling turn, it seemed like all big often the mothers were competing with the women for the affections of their shows sons. The CBS competition show 'Big Brother' is filled with intense challenges, secret alliances, and, of course, plenty of romance. After 21 seasons, a lot of relationships have formed and continued outside of the house, even when the cameras have stopped rolling. Here are all of the couples from 'Big Brother' that are still together. Dating Naked explores romance sans preconceptions, stereotypes -- and clothes. In each episode, two men and women strip down for a shot at the primary daters, then each dater picks who they ... The Big Show Language Lab: Understanding Men (good luck with that one!) Check it out here. READ MORE. September 4, 2020. Never Turn Your Back On A Train. at September 4, 2020. Do you like it? 0. Read more. Hey there smart guy! It's pretty easy to tell where the train is going. It left its tracks! Watch the video here. Big Show wife, Bess Katramados’ Wiki-Bio: Height, Weight, Measurements, Family, Dating. A daily dose of entertainment and sports can be found in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE); Big Show is one of the most prominent faces of the company, and has won championship beltS seven times in different promotions, and is the only wrestler to have held WCW, WWE, World Heavyweight, and ECW World titles. On 8-2-1972 Big Show (nickname: Paul Donald Wight) was born in Aiken, South Carolina, United States. He made his 20 million dollar fortune with Pro Wrestling Illustrated, World Wrestling Federation / World Wrestling Entertainment / WWE, Wrestling Observer Newsletter award.
Eminem_2 but even better
2018.07.30 18:16 thiccdiccman-1Eminem_2 but even better
best sub ever and we have no mods besides me so yeh its good
2020.09.23 20:11 SwedenStrikesBackSome homework that I did for my English class about prom
In modern times, humans of adolescence attend a event at the place they go to get education, called ‘prom’. This event is considered a big deal, since it is the last dance that the human can attend in a place that’s not even meant for dancing and instead for learning. The people try to get ‘dates’, which is a term that doesnt mean time, nor the food, but someone to go out with them to the event, and some humans go to enormous measures to ask someone to likely get said no to, in other words, they had too much free time and set themselves up for failure. The attendees will often wear a outfit that’s very elegant, which costs more than 8 years of their salary, and will never use again. On top of the show-off nature of the outfits, some of these peculiar specimen drive up with their ‘partner’ in expensive cars that their parents rented, which for the child, fuels their ego to a ridiculous amount, and for the parent, makes them wish that they had just gotten a puppy instead of a kid. Often times, a lot of drama tends to occur during ‘prom’, with either; A. A fight happening between two males because they try and claim ownership of a girl, with the males thinking with their crotch, and not their head. Or B. Some girl is heartbroken after their partner ditches them in the middle of the event, and they go to the bathroom, in which they transform their face from flesh to eye liner all over. And for the other children that don’t get dates or all the fancy stuff, they often don’t attend, or just become miserable at the prom. Looking at it, this ‘prom’ is a event that’s overly hyped, but you see more negatives than positives, viewing it critically. But they’ll shove the little positives in your face to make you think its the second coming of Jesus.
2020.09.23 20:06 El_Flaco76I (26M) broke up with my Gf (22f) 3 months ago and now I am missing her
Hello everyone, This will be a bit long post so I am sorry for that, but writing this is helping me too! In late June, I decided to break up with my girlfriend. She had done some annoying stuff that was making me back away from her and remove my enjoyment of being with her. The drop was her continuing to ask me why I add coworkers on my social media or why was I following a Dank Meme page. Or asking me why I speak with my female friends who exist for years. She would require me full disclosure of my whereabouts: if I l left my house to go to Dunkin for two minutes, I needed to warn her about. When I came to my home country last year, I told her i was having a friends gathering (all males). She got upset that I did not tell her I stayed longer than expected. She got upset that I had visited an old couples house and did not tell her this. She sometimes would get upset if she called and I did not pick up. Then I would try to call and she would say "sorry, I am busy now. You had your chance to pick the phone". Then, we have the fights. Once she went to sleep and awakes at 11:30 PM. She wanted to talk about our future. I told her that we agreed talking that other time. "NO! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW!" I hunged up. She likes to agree something with me only to change the terms after. Big fight. I am not perfect, but i never manipulated. If something bad happened, it would be "After work come to my place, we need to talk in person" and I would say "I do not want to talk right now, I want a bit more of space". And it goes " If you really loved, you would come" or "So your friends are more important than your girlfriend?" - this happened after me going with my coworkers to grab a beer. Then the insulting from her side start: i am stubborn, an asshole, manipulator, selfish, cant show affection, etc etc. So, wrapping everything, the last drop was indeed when I was studying for my english exam and I ask my gf what she was doing. She said she was watching a Show. I asked her "what show?". She proceeds to send me 3 screenshots of 2 dank memes pages that I followed ages ago and a porn actress. She said that she did not want to be associated with someone who followed such pages, that she felt that I needed sexual arousal from someone else, etc etc. This was not the first time this happened. Like, 3rd or 4th time. She would go hunt on my instagram for recent added people, and this started to develop a bit of anxiety for me. Now, I never gave signs of me wanting to cheat or planning on cheating: i work hard, have to wake up very early, plus we were during a quarentine. The only time I was leaving the house was to be with her. I simply reached a point where she would come next to me and I closed the phone immediately: she had once taken the phone out of my hands to see with who I was talking (I was sending Cat memes to my friends), and the other time someone called me and she picked up for me, and took the chance to see with whom I was talking and what I was sending to that person. And the other time was when she asked me the phone to take a pic of her timesheet to submit, and decided to look at my messages :) Of course, only to find a handful of nothing and just to see that I was still talking with my long term friends from my country of origin. I was starting to get anxiety. Anxiety because everytime the phone rang, I was like to myself "Is it her sending me a simple text or screenshots of pages I follow?" I had spoken to her about these things, she agreed to stop, except she did not. I broke up. I gave her the reasons. She did not accept. I Had even suggested her a week apart, as I needed to rest. She said no, we are breaking up immediately. Ok. Then she kept reaching out to me. Never honestly - always playing the victim first, that i am ignoring her, that I left her suddently and that I simply vanished (I broke up and decided to mvoe with my family that was 4 hours away). But after, she starts crying, that she misses me, that she wants to fix things, that she had learned her lesson. Now, if she had "learned" her lesson, she would not be reaching out to me with two stones on her hand. I was soo soo fed up. Then, she uses her mom facebook to say to call her as it was an emergency. Since I am not a sociopath, I got of course, worried. Turns out she had a bad dream and was alone. I get angry, because she got me scared. I rebuff her again. She keeps insisting me going to see her. I told her that i would have to return to that city and we could chat in person there. She kept insisting that i would go when SHE WANTED. A few days after, she started telling me she needed to know when I was going because she had been trying to plan a dinner with her "friend" and that he was also taking her scuba diving. I was not totally understand why she was telling me this (of course I knew why). Anyways, I gave her the date and said it would be best to talk when I went there. When I get to the city, i told her I was in town. No reply. Nothing. So, I did what I had to do, to pick up my stuff because I was departing the country and came back home. Two days later she texts me, saying that she was not in town and that i did not call her. She sends me a pic of a flower bouquet she received and more pics and I was asking her why she was doing and she says "I am just showing you things that make me happy" (again, i am not stupid). She then asks me to call her by camera. I did not want that much, but ok. She asks me what i wanted to do, if I wanted to try to get back things on track. I had a moment of weakness and I said i would think about it and she asked me If I could go see her to her town (4 hour drive). I said I wanted to do it, but I needed to think about it. My family immediately said it would not be a good idea. First, if she was so into me, she would have been in town a few days before instead of taking the trip with her friends wherever she went. Second, she could have always found a way to come visit me if it was her wish, right? She was already being pushy, because she needed to know to see if she was going on a road trip with her friends or she would stay in town to receive me. I told her to go with her friends and gave the above reasons and that i was upset that her way of also engaging with me was by showing flowers that a dude was giving to her. She explodes, says that I made her believe I was going, that my word does not have a value, and that she will definitely give a chance to the guy because he knows how to treat women and is respectful. I block, and proceed to cry, but my friends said it was the correct thing to do. A few days after, I have my plane trip to my country. On the same day that I arrive, she calls me at night through her mom facebook. She wanted to see how I was doing, and proceeds to tell me what we could do to have our relationship back, even though I was far away. She said she would think moving to where I am going (I am moving countries again soon) but wanted to talk for a few days to see how things are. All good, no problem. The next day, we chat normally. A day after, she even woke me up in the morning and starts flirting with me. Then, she ghosts me. Like, total ghosting. No sign of her, no message, nothing. A week later, she starts asking me how I would help her in her move to Europe. I said that i cannot support two rents, that i would give her the support she needs, but to understand that I will be struggling in the beggining. She starts saying that the burden of the effort would have all to be on herself and starts asking me to go see her in her home Country (Equador). I tell her that i will be working in the UK, that i will not have yet many vacation days, and that it will be hard for me to visit a Corona hard hit country in these times. Fast track two days later, she tells me she needs to tell me something. She calls, I pick up, and she starts saying that she would want me to fight for her. I said that i would not fight for her without her doing the same, as I do not know if it will be the same BS. She said she was not feeling the same thing towards me, that she cannot trust me. So I said that withouth having any sort of commitment from her, I cannot also work on the relationship, because i do not want it to be one sided. Later that night, she calls me again. She said that there is a guy who fell hard for her and that he was winning her heart and that he appears more compatible with her. I get happy for her. Then she starts crying. Asks me what we could do to have our relationship back. I asked her why was she calling me on camera a few hours before a guy takes her on a date to propose to her to become her girlfriend. She started running away from the subject and said that she wanted time to think. A few hours after she asked me what i was doing up until late. The next day she removes the friendship from facebook. She tells me not to reach out to her again, that I hurted her a lot. This made me feel bad. I rebuffed her. Until I gave in and I was starting to allow her to return because if someone was so insisting in having me back, it must meant she really wanted to work things out. Now I am feeling crap. I miss her, and the things above are serious (Did not even said that her mom had come across our relationship a few times only to judge me on my actons), but the good things were really good and i find myself missing her, and she would be a good long term partner if she ended up doing what had to be done (start controlling her BS of looking at my social media and getting overly jealous) What should I do here? TL:DR - My ex gf reached out to me to try to have things back, but then proceeds to ghost me and never to reach out her again and made me feel really sad now.
2020.09.23 20:00 mashumba-270How do I [27m] get the LOML [27f] back when we had initially broken up and were trying to work things out then I fucked up by lying about sleeping with another woman [29f escort] during our break up when I didn’t need to lie???
Guys it’s a really fucked up situation I find myself in, so grab your popcorn and get ready for story time. I first met this beautiful girl [27f] just over 4 years ago. She was stunning,and my feelings grew to her so quickly. We got together, and I was the happiest man alive, but maybe I just didn’t show it well enough. She was my peace, she calmed me and she knew how to love me in all the love languages that make me the man I am including quality and acts of service this girl was everything. PAY ATTENTION HERE... Fast forward to around 1.5 years into the relationship, she caught me messaging some escorts that I had been introduced to by work colleagues (fucked up I know) at that time I was working for one of the Big 4 so I am sorry but from my experience drugs, alcohol abuse and sex are just a norm...it’s work hard play hard. Anyway she was hurt, but we were on holiday when she found these messages on my phone, the reality is I actually had no intention of doing anything I was just very curious to find out so I had asked them about prices etc because I was just really curious and never proceeded to do anything. Long story short on this part, we moved on from it but perhaps we didn’t iron it out or go into detail about it as were were on holiday and I thought we had moved on. I think she may have come across this again, but during another time but I had done it all at the same time so it wasn’t a repeat offence it was simply her finding out about another 2 escorts I had messaged on Instagram at a later date...trash I know l, but I have to be honest about everything in order to get the best advice and own up to my mistakes. We then continued our relationship, we were thriving and I was always content with her she gave me her all. She wasn’t perfect don’t get me wrong but that’s reality we are all imperfect but we do try, and in her case it was nowhere near anything I had done just some minor hiccups. Fast forward to last year, we broke up. She cited differences in our paths and where we were in life. I am reasonably successful and have done pretty well career wise so I am grateful. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to pursue and she was going through a tough time and felt I didn’t supper her emotionally, which I admit. It was tough, and I had lost the love of my life (LOML), I didn’t think I would ever be able to move on. During our break up we didn’t talk for a few months and then we slowly began to talk again when I reached out to her and meeting up towards the end of last year and beginning of this year. I really wanted her back and I really cared about her. KEY PART SO PAY ATTENTION HERE AGAIN... During the month of ~October last year I slept with an escort who I had met. Me and my ex were not taking at the time and I didn’t think we had a chance I thought we were done. Me and the escort became friends along with some of her mother friends both male and female (not all escorts). I slept with this woman 3 times, once for consideration and the other 2 for no consideration as we had become “friends with benefits” so to call it. This was the lowest point of my life, I didn’t know how I got here, my head was gone and torn from splitting with who I thought I would never split with. I don’t know how I let this happen. But I accepted it and I moved on. I was getting therapy at this time, I had a lot of issues around my anger, the neglect and reject I felt from never meeting my biological father and I finally accepted I was addicted to pornography, I found my place with God again after this had happened which I ironed out and I managed to get my head straight again and found my place with God. With the above in mind, I stayed friends with the escort and we would chat sometimes where on FaceTime her and the other friends I had become friends with would just chat, it was no longer a friends with benefits thing at all. We continued to chat even until this year as much as 2/3 months ago but we would chat maybe once every month just to catch up because we were just cool. NOW TO THE RECENT EVENTS KEY KEY PART... Before went away on holiday recently I wanted to tell her what had happened during our break up, specifically that I had slept with an escort, so I asked her in the home she would say she has slept with someone else and then I would admit I did too which was fine as we were not together, but she said not and immediately I got scared that if I said yes she would be hurt and decide to cut things off and not work out getting back together. So what did I do? I lied and I said I didn’t sleep with anyone...bit mistake. She said okay and we carried on fine. We went away recently, had a great time and got to spend some time together. But during our holiday she went through my phone and messages. She then saw the messages messages with the escort, and unfortunately I had said things like I’ll cone over but it was to hang out nothing more and she will obviously not believe that that was true. She saw images where the escort had sent pics of her friends trying to her me to come over and I had even said I am never coming there again. So, as you can see, I asked her about sleeping with someone else, she said no, I lied, and then she found I lied and worst of all with an escort, which took us right back to the curiosities I had had when she caught me messaging escorts ~2.5 years before that. WHERE WE ARE NOW We got back from our holidays and she decided to end things and not pursue getting back together. She cited that I have a problem with escorts and she finds it hard to trust me. She worries too much and our trust is broken. She loves me, but love is not enough. Now I know you may think I am trash and I own up to my mistakes. But I had genuinely changed and I had got over all this escort stuff and was moving on with my life. But she struggled to see that as believe that. I am devastated she has decided to not work things out, and I am truly hurt that I may have lost the LOML forever. TL;DR! , what can I do and how can I get her back? I have been honest ask I can get the best advice with no prejudice.
2020.09.23 19:59 ThirdeyeMoodyPick a card: The person you're thinking of and what's to come.
(https://imgur.com/DBhd2aa.jpg) 🔮How to pick your card: Close your eyes, take in a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. Think about your person. Upon exhaling, open your eyes and look at the cards before you. Which one are you drawn to? What colors stand out to you? How does a certain card make you feel? That's the card for you. 🔮 ⚠️Please take note that not everyone will resonate with these messages. If your story is not here, it's not meant for you. If your relationship is great, this is not meant for you. Simply leave the messages for those who need them and come back another time for a different pick a card.⚠️ 1️⃣Pile one: You chose Collette. Collette is she who nurtures and her qualities include empathy, gentleness, and insight. Immediately I felt water sign energy here (cancer, scorpio, pisces), so you or your person could be one of those signs. The person that you're thinking of sees you as this warm, beautiful, empathetic human. I feel for some of you this is someone you know of, but possibly not on a deep level quite yet. For others, this could be someone who hurt you in the past. I feel for those who were hurt by this person, you have finally started to heal and may even be done healing. The message that came out from your person is, "I have a lot of regret for the things I have done to you." So I do feel that this person may be realizing that they hurt someone who was very nurturing and kind towards them and now it may be eating them up. For those of you who are dealing with someone that they don't know very well, I feel l this person may have come off as stand-offish, cocky, or full of themselves and may have did or said something that they are kicking themselves over. They are sorry. Again, they see you as this very kind, beautiful being. Now for both those who are dealing with someone they know deeply and those who are dealing with someone they don't know very well, but would like to, your person is trying to make a huge judgment call and it's one that's quite a big deal. Yes, they have feelings from you, real feelings, and they want to explore those feelings and see where things will go. They're definitely planning an offer of some kind with the knight of cups here. They may ask you on a date or ask for a higher level of commitment of some sort. For some of you this is someone you work with or want to work things out with. I see that you guys make a lot of locked eye contact and it's intense.😂 I also see a strong chemistry between the both of you. You or your person may be trying to tame their feelings and keep from charging towards the other with love and passion. They're trying so hard but they're starting to break! So expect some kind of passionate offer from them as they are making a plan right now. Other profound energies I see here are: Leo, Capricorn, sagittarius, Aries, Aquarius, cancer, scorpio, pisces, and a bit of earth. 2️⃣Pile Two: You chose Valencia. Valencia is she who stands. Her qualities are that of someone who is determined, resolute, and implacable. Your person sees you as someone who is very strong emotionally and spiritually. You're someone who is unbreakable, resilient and even if things do eat you up inside, you don't show it. This person put you through a lot. I'm sensing heavy third party energy here. It seems they made a bad judgment call. Their message to you is, "The grass was not greener in the other side, now I have nothing." Your person may have been trying to control the relationship. Possibly by having things their way by holding onto you but also having someone else. Major fail on their behalf. Another message that came out from them is," I can't stop thinking about you, you're in my mind all day and much more at night." I'm seeing this clarified by the nine of swords and the lovers. The shitty part here is, this person went off with someone else or were influenced by some third party whether it be their parents, friends, or an actual other lover, only to find that it wasn't what they expected it to be. Now this person is seeing you as their other half and it's really fucking with their head. This person cannot sleep and has so much anxiety regarding this situation. And they may even be spying on you to see if you're still wanting them as much as they want you but you're literally just chilling, being the queen of cups, coming off as beautiful, kind, and focusing on self. When really, you could still have some inner conflict about this but you're definitely not showing it. This person is still very much drawn to you. I have devil energy here and the moon clarified by the knight of cups. They're definitely coming towards you to make some kind of offer about reconciling but just be careful, stay in that Valencia energy and don't fall for this person's antics. The moment you see any kind of red flag, cut them off. I don't really see this person coming back to apologize for their wrongs. Their just gonna try to weasel their way back in by courting you with affection. That moon energy is kind of deceptive for me and I don't feel good having the knight of cups in between the devil and the moon card. They're definitely going to reach out but stand your ground. Don't allow people like this to treat you however the want, walk away, and then just decide that they want to come back whenever. You're being asked to free yourself from this cycle. It seems quite toxic. You rejecting this person is their karma so if you take them back, you'll repeat a cycle and they get the last laugh. Energies I got from this pile is: Capricorn, Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio, Aries, Leo, Sagittarius. 3️⃣Pile three: You guys chose Maputla. Maputla is she who guides. She takes on the energy of renewal, a new path, and guidance. I definitely see a new journey for those of you in this pile and HEAVY guardian angel energy, especially since you guys got the Maputla card (which shows a little birdie on her shoulder as a guide - so you guys could be seeing lots of birds) and you also got the Angel card which is about having a guardian angel with you right now. You have a protector and angelic realms are open to you at this time. Like the other groups, I feel you guys had to make some sort of major judgment call which involved the ending of a relationship of some sort. For those of you, it could have been a marriage or a relationship that involved children. I see that you guys took on the king of swords energy here and decided to put your head over your heart and cut this unhappiness out. It wasn't easy but it had to be done. Which is good because this is apart of your spiritual journey. Some of you may still be in this energy of pausing in order to get a better perspective. But I do see big change happening here. You may be spending a lot of time with yourself and your thoughts or you may be going out into nature, sitting down when the sun is setting and just trusting that inner knowledge and intuition that tells you it's time to release some things from your life. The message from your person is, "I have to fake a smile because I don't want you to feel my pain." I feel this could be you or your person saying this. There could have been some deception here but I feel that both of you are unhappy here anyway. Those of you in this pile are very, very strong. I feel you guys have been through so much in your life that it has built you up to become this soldier who can handle just about anything. I see that once you change your focus and release the things you know you need to let go of, you are going to meet someone new who you're going to share a deep bond with. This might be someone who is also currently in the process of releasing someone or some things from their life as well so that you two can come together. This person will sweep you off if your feet and will fulfill your every wish, desire, and need. You're being asked to stay in good spirit, go out and have fun and stay strong because you have a lot to be hopeful for. And also again, you have a guardian angel around you right now who is watching you and making sure you stay on your path right now. Please take the time to sit in silence and just talk to them and listen. I promise they are right beside you. You're definitely not alone. Energies I'm seeing here are: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Cancer, Scorpio, pisces, taurus, virgo, capricorn, gemini, libra, aquarius (so yeah, every sign here). 4️⃣Pile four: You guys chose Mora. Mora is she who hesitates. She takes on the energy of ponder, delay, and confidence. Your person sees you as someone who may lack confidence and perhaps likes to delay the inevitable due to fear. I see a lot of endings here. You guys could have had a nasty fallout due to someone backstabbing the other. But I do see that this ending was painful. The messages from your person are: "You look so happy without me and it hurts so much." and "I can't commit because I have issues buried deep inside." I feel like whatever your person did to you, made you take on this energy of Mora. You may feel unlovable, left out in the cold, and that none of your relationships seem to work out, whether it's in love, family, or friends. I feel you guys don't really know where to go from here. You may be trying to figure out if you should walk away or you simply know you should but you're afraid of what's to come if you completely leave this behind. You're being asked to take control of your life and to stop allowing your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs to control you. There's a huge need to focus on health right now, specifically mental health. Your confidence is shot right now and it's putting you in this five of pentacles energy of feeling like the world is against you. Luckily you guys have a lot of tens in your spread which represents that the worst is over and now you can start again with that fool energy of not knowing what's going to happen but trusting the process. Since you are in this fool's energy of a free spirit with nothing holding you back , this is the perfect time to create your future before you get back up to ten again. This time, let's hope your next ten is the ten of cups! Which represents complete emotional fulfillment and happiness. The stage of your path that you're in right now is very important. If you stay in this five of pentacles energy, you will only build back up to the ten of swords again. So start today by trying to smile, practice an act of self care and relax, please! I promise you will feel better in no time. Energies I am seeing here are: Aries, gemini, libra, aquarius, taurus, virgo, capricorn, Leo, sagittarius and a slight amount of water. 5️⃣Pile five: You chose Aylis. Aylis is she who grants wishes. She takes on the energy of wish, desires, and hopes. For those of you who chose this pile, I feel you guys may have separated from someone who didn't treat you right many many times. I feel a lot of you are wishing and hoping for a balanced love, possibly from this person who didn't treat you fairly. You're being asked to get sure about what you want. If you're wishing for them to come back currently, you're manifesting them back but not in the right way. The message from your person is, "I made a huge mistake, please let me back in." as well as, "If you take me back, nothing will change, I'm just not ready." Aylis asks you to be positive that this is the person you want in your life. Sometimes we think we want something only to find that when we get it, it's not as great as we hoped it would be. I'm definitely feeling that kind of energy here with that person. You guys have a lot of good energy within this group. Your vibration is quite high at this moment which means manifesting is quite the breeze for you. You know your worth, you're focusing on health and happiness and you've freed yourself from toxic people and toxic ways of thinking. Therefore, Aylis is here to grant your wishes. She wants you to be clear about it though. This isn't a warning card, it's simply a card that asks you to be careful what you wish for so that your angels can bring you exactly that . When manifesting, you need to make sure you're manifesting someone back who has good intentions. I do see a solid, stable offer coming in for you guys. Likely from someone new. I feel you're being asked to scrap your wishes of this person who is coming back in to treat you the same way. Close that cycle and you'll have a new, solid and stable offer coming in. Energies I see here are, Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Aries, Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Leo, cancer, pisces, scorpio. Thank you for participating in this pick a card reading. If your reading resonates, leave a comment! I love feedback. If you're interested in a personal eeading from me I have two slots available today some PM me with the details and I'll give you more information on what your reading will consist of. Thanks!
2020.09.23 19:29 wastetimedontcareHaving sex for the first time.
After reading the resources and speaking to my therapist, I now see that aside from the first time, sex with my ex was definitely affected by his porn use. I had sex with a safe acquaintance with the permission of my therapist. It wasn’t the deep, connected, loving experience I had before I realized my ex was distracted and cold during sex with me, and probably thinking about some other thing that would probably scare non porn addicts. I didn’t feel like an inanimate object. He was fully present, and it felt warmer and more caring than my two year relationship. Afterward, he didn’t jump up and put his clothes on and tell me to shower. He didn’t push for anything more than what I was offering, and I felt wanted. THEN: When he continued to show interest in the following days, and was open about the lengths he had gone to “run into me”, I told him that if we want to see if this is a romantic connection, we shouldn’t be having sex so that we don’t confuse dopamine for love. I told him I wanted to get to know my next partner without the confusion of sex, because sex is so important to me in a relationship. I didn’t tell him anything about comparisons or that porn was an issue in my last relationship. I left it at “we weren’t compatible and no longer communicate” and moved on. I’m disappointed that I apologized and made it like I am somehow a disappointment for making this decision, which he seemed to think was strange. He said “we can date and not have sex” like it was no big deal. He makes it clear he REALLY wants to, but has repeated that he can be patient for things that are important to him. He’s excited about seeing me again, and mentioned cuddling with no sexual undertones. I don’t know if he’s my next boyfriend, or if I like being single for now, or anything else. I just know that I didn’t feel dirty or used or like a disappointment, and that had disappeared over a year ago for me.
2020.09.23 19:27 mashumba-270How do I [27m] get the LOML [27f] back when we had initially broken up and were trying to work things out then I fucked up by lying about sleeping with another woman [29f escort] during our break up when I didn’t need to lie???
Guys it’s a really fucked up situation I find myself in, so grab your popcorn and get ready for story time. I first met this beautiful girl [27f] just over 4 years ago. She was stunning,and my feelings grew to her so quickly. We got together, and I was the happiest man alive, but maybe I just didn’t show it well enough. She was my peace, she calmed me and she knew how to love me in all the love languages that make me the man I am including quality and acts of service this girl was everything. PAY ATTENTION HERE... Fast forward to around 1.5 years into the relationship, she caught me messaging some escorts that I had been introduced to by work colleagues (fucked up I know) at that time I was working for one of the Big 4 so I am sorry but from my experience drugs, alcohol abuse and sex are just a norm...it’s work hard play hard. Anyway she was hurt, but we were on holiday when she found these messages on my phone, the reality is I actually had no intention of doing anything I was just very curious to find out so I had asked them about prices etc because I was just really curious and never proceeded to do anything. Long story short on this part, we moved on from it but perhaps we didn’t iron it out or go into detail about it as were were on holiday and I thought we had moved on. I think she may have come across this again, but during another time but I had done it all at the same time so it wasn’t a repeat offence it was simply her finding out about another 2 escorts I had messaged on Instagram at a later date...trash I know l, but I have to be honest about everything in order to get the best advice and own up to my mistakes. We then continued our relationship, we were thriving and I was always content with her she gave me her all. She wasn’t perfect don’t get me wrong but that’s reality we are all imperfect but we do try, and in her case it was nowhere near anything I had done just some minor hiccups. Fast forward to last year, we broke up. She cited differences in our paths and where we were in life. I am reasonably successful and have done pretty well career wise so I am grateful. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to pursue and she was going through a tough time and felt I didn’t supper her emotionally, which I admit. It was tough, and I had lost the love of my life (LOML), I didn’t think I would ever be able to move on. During our break up we didn’t talk for a few months and then we slowly began to talk again when I reached out to her and meeting up towards the end of last year and beginning of this year. I really wanted her back and I really cared about her. KEY PART SO PAY ATTENTION HERE AGAIN... During the month of ~October last year I slept with an escort who I had met. Me and my ex were not taking at the time and I didn’t think we had a chance I thought we were done. Me and the escort became friends along with some of her mother friends both male and female (not all escorts). I slept with this woman 3 times, once for consideration and the other 2 for no consideration as we had become “friends with benefits” so to call it. This was the lowest point of my life, I didn’t know how I got here, my head was gone and torn from splitting with who I thought I would never split with. I don’t know how I let this happen. But I accepted it and I moved on. I was getting therapy at this time, I had a lot of issues around my anger, the neglect and reject I felt from never meeting my biological father and I finally accepted I was addicted to pornography, I found my place with God again after this had happened which I ironed out and I managed to get my head straight again and found my place with God. With the above in mind, I stayed friends with the escort and we would chat sometimes where on FaceTime her and the other friends I had become friends with would just chat, it was no longer a friends with benefits thing at all. We continued to chat even until this year as much as 2/3 months ago but we would chat maybe once every month just to catch up because we were just cool. NOW TO THE RECENT EVENTS KEY KEY PART... Before went away on holiday recently I wanted to tell her what had happened during our break up, specifically that I had slept with an escort, so I asked her in the home she would say she has slept with someone else and then I would admit I did too which was fine as we were not together, but she said not and immediately I got scared that if I said yes she would be hurt and decide to cut things off and not work out getting back together. So what did I do? I lied and I said I didn’t sleep with anyone...bit mistake. She said okay and we carried on fine. We went away recently, had a great time and got to spend some time together. But during our holiday she went through my phone and messages. She then saw the messages messages with the escort, and unfortunately I had said things like I’ll cone over but it was to hang out nothing more and she will obviously not believe that that was true. She saw images where the escort had sent pics of her friends trying to her me to come over and I had even said I am never coming there again. So, as you can see, I asked her about sleeping with someone else, she said no, I lied, and then she found I lied and worst of all with an escort, which took us right back to the curiosities I had had when she caught me messaging escorts ~2.5 years before that. WHERE WE ARE NOW We got back from our holidays and she decided to end things and not pursue getting back together. She cited that I have a problem with escorts and she finds it hard to trust me. She worries too much and our trust is broken. She loves me, but love is not enough. Now I know you may think I am trash and I own up to my mistakes. But I had genuinely changed and I had got over all this escort stuff and was moving on with my life. But she struggled to see that as believe that. I am devastated she has decided to not work things out, and I am truly hurt that I may have lost the LOML forever. So Reddit, what can I do and how can I get her back? I have been honest ask I can get the best advice with no prejudice.
2020.09.23 19:02 ladytinkkkDepressed over my career, where can I transfer my skills?
I'm 24, and a high school drop out. I'm currently an assistant manager at a clothing store and was planning to work my way up the latter, but I'm growing very depressed at my job. Retail management isn't for the weak and its leading my mental health to deteriorate. I need a career change. I'm alone, I need to pay my bills and thats whats holding me back from going back to education. I need to work full time to survive. I am a huge people person, and I actually don't hate selling. I love to help people build what they invision, which is what makes me a great sales person. But the unstable hours in retail, working holidays, and the immense stress it brings me.. Shows me I'll never be able to build a family in this business. As a retail manager, - I work very well under pressure - I get job done with minimal resources - I recruite/hire - I coach others, and give them the knowledge and tools to succeed and grow - I know how to problem solve between clients and coworkers on and off the sales floor - Strong communication skills - I'm very attentive to detail, being able to manage multiple tasks and still be aware of whats happening on my sales floor. - Great with numbers, keeping track of where we are year, week and day to date. Creating budgets and goals for our team members. Watching KPIs closely. I always make sure that my team has the tools they need to succeed, even if that means coming out of my pocket for my store or taking calls on my off days to listen to my team members. I think I have built some great skills, and I love helping others. I'm a realist, who can manage a store, knowing my team members are only human and sometimes life gets in the way. I try to create a healthy working environment , where my team can come in and be happy. I'm big on mental health. Personally, retail isn't it for me. The lack of hours, the imense work loads. I just need advice on where I can transfer these skills outside of retail.
2020.09.23 18:42 bioticmanI [37M] Broke up with my [25F] gf as I felt ignored. I miss her. Do they come back
Some backstory: I'm a preoccupied anxious attachment style. I long for connections and definitely have my own insecurities and triggers due to past abandonment. I'd say I have a good sense of self and really value self development. I've done therapy for many years and recently checked back in. I've had many relationships where I was cheated on in the past and have been married. My ex is much younger than me and is a sweetheart. She's been cheated on many times too. I would say that she's more a fearful avoidant type. We've talked about anxiety quite a bit how we're both anxious. But I think this breakup shows her avoidant style at times too. We're both empaths and have admitted in the past, we both used to go into relationships trying to fix the other. This relationship went super well on the surface. She was easy to date, made herself readily easy to schedule dates with, and when in person, we never once had a bad memory. But I also sensed that like my past style, she might be a pleaser who doesn't want conflict. For example, she had made a comment saying I noticed you don't text me much in between dates. Have you always been like that? I told her that I used to not have much going on in my life and used to constantly text exes and then realized that then you have nothing to say to each other in person and that I'm not great at small talk as it is. She said she loves that and how other guys would try and blow up her phone and force a relationship on her. I've done a lot of self-work on defining boundaries, speaking my needs and learning my attachment style. One thing I'm proud of that was a first for me was telling her at one point I really value her but want to take it slow since I have a history of jumping into relationships. She said she loved that and liked the pace. But my gut sensed maybe she's just trying to adapt. Things are going super well. There were a few times where she cancelled a date (and I get in my head on this and assume the worst) but I also showed in text to her no problem, let's reschedule, because she always said how sorry she was but can we reschedule? Things progressed and we got to a point of telling each other I love you, even including the very last time she was over (right after a trip to the beach). That night (the last time I saw) her, she even said I love you as she was walking out the door. We were seeing each other at a slow pace that I set to make sure I don't rush things. 1-2x a week. But with the trip and then seeing her right after, it was 5 out of 7 days. And she's an introvert, who I'm not used to dating, so I was doing a lot of research and trying to understand her better. She doesn't like crowds, and I do wonder if the trip overwhelmed her energy a bit. There have even been times where we'd see other a few weeks, then she'd go camping into the woods with just her and her dog for a week. This is how the breakup happened. We had planned to see each other the weekend after we got back. She gave me two days notice and canceled and said her sister is in town so "I'm going to have to cancel" and "hope your trip is treating you well". It came off different to me as a matter of fact and without sincerity. My pride took a hit and I felt that perhaps I was losing her. I simply said no worries, reach out to me next week to try and reschedule. I didn't reschedule then as I usually do since it felt she was pulling away, so I wanted to make sure she put in effort to try and see me again as I have a lot going on and don't want to just keep scheduling with her when I could be doing other things. 6 days go by and nothing. I thought about waiting the rest of the week and reaching out the following week, but I then realized that if I'm in a relationship and told she loves me, this doesn't work for me. I've never had this level of silence before in a relationship unless I've messed up big time. So I reach out and tell her we need to dial it back, that I value communication and don't feel connected and that we should go back to how it was in the beginning. I said if you want me to commit, we need to work on communication. I said I'm open to working on it but no guarantees. Let me know if you want to work on it and if not, no worries, I wish you well. Shortly after, she simply says well then maybe it's best we go our own ways then. Good luck to you. I was bothered by the sudden coldness and why I think she's that avoidant type. I think honestly this relationship felt too good and too real and that maybe she's sabotaging it. So I told her you're a very sweet and kind person and I only have good memories and I didn't want to pressure you with a relationship because I'm not that kind of guy. There had been a few times where she would tell me I'm all yours, don't dance with any other women like that etc. But I didn't want to pressure her. I tell her I love her She tells me she wasn't sure what I was looking for and then again says good luck to me. I ask her what do you think I was looking for? She waits two days and suddenly gives me a list of grievances that were never communicated in the relationship. In fact she never had brought up any issues when together.
Now she's telling me she knows I don't text often and so that's why she didn't text me every day
She was upset I said I almost left without her to the beach (I had given her time as she was running late and told me she would but then there was silence and she was 2.5 hours late being over to my place. When she came over that day, I had told her I almost left without her and it's good she said she's on her way because I bought a hotel and didn't want to get there past midnight)
She said she didn't care who I danced with. I don't know if I truly believe this. A few times late in the relationship, she said "you better not be dancing with other women like this". So we had met dancing. At one point she had told me I'm not "going to hold you back." I'm a little old fashioned and since we both have been cheated on, my gut told me she would maybe be a little jealous, so a few times, I had voiced that I'm only dancing with her. And while we've never had "an official" relationship talk, we've voiced several times not seeing others and that we're in love. And in this response, she called what we had a relationship
She tells me I didn't have the audacity to reach out to her. This one bothered me. I gave her a week (6 days) to reach out to me reschedule and she said she would. I'm not a guy who's desparate for a relationship and can be happy alone. I remind myself I didn't rush things with her and that I wasn't even looking at the time. I met her dancing and just enjoying myself, and it just kind of happened.
She tells me saying I love you is a dangerous word to use if you don't mean it
She again ended this with "I'm not mad, but enjoy your life." So I again see this duality of still responding and still saying good luck I respond saying it's not easy for me to admit this, but I felt insecure in that it felt like she was pulling back because when there's silence and I don't feel connected, I thought I was being rejected and so I do apologize for jumping the gun on breaking up with her since I felt I should pull the plug before she does. No response. Two days later, I sent one last text and now I've gone no contact (on day 2): I say I would love to work on this and to see her instead of having a serious text conversation. But if it's going to work, we need to be able to communicate like adults, or else it won't work. Let me know when you're free to meet, and if not, well then thank you for the wonderful memories. No response. So I'm on day 2 of no contact. I've been through breakups before and have gone no contact. But this is a peculiar one since it seems the only "issue" was simply some communication issues and unspoken needs. I've dated plenty and know I'll be ok. I feel I can enjoy my single life and took the last year off before meeting her, finding what makes me happy. And I've had not so pleasant and toxic relationships in the past that haven't work. What makes this one hard to move on from is that it seems like something so simple that can be corrected. I know it's not my job to make someone a big communicator, but with the incredibly deep connection we had, I'd hate to see it end for something simple and silly like this. It's the unknowns of whether it could still work that makes this hard for me. If there was a glaring issue (like cheating), I would just heal and move on. And by no means my "no contact" an idea of "let me wait x days and play a game." It's more that I'm willing to move on, but I'm open to her at this moment if she reaches out and wants to work on it. She's a genuinely nice and wholesome person. My questions for you are : - Ladies, have you ever gone back to a guy who has broken up with you and he finally stopped texting you? I'm really struggling to move on. I know I can meet other women, but I really care for this one - Any ideas on her pull back? tl;dr : broke up with my girlfriend as I felt ignored, and struggling with it. Gone no contact. Do they come back?
2020.09.23 18:33 froshesWhen Bunny Girl Senpai Season 2 will air and why.
If you want the short story, I think it'll air either fall 2023 or fall 2024 at this current rate. My reasons to why are none other than the light novel itself and the way arcs are spaced out in it. SO... lets think Season 1 of Seishun Buta Yarou aired in 2018 with the production of the anime lets say starting when Volume 7 of the light novel was released. Volume 7 covers the end of the Makinohara Shouko arc. When the anime was announced they had already planned on making the movie, it was not due to success of the TV anime. The movie, "Rascal Does Not Dream of Dreaming Girl", covers volumes 6+7 picking up where the anime left off (anime covers 1-5 of novel). The first 7 Volumes all released on average every 5 months since serialization. But the 18 month gap between volumes 7 and 8 creates a worrying surprise factor in terms of release. Because right after that long wait, 6 months later came our Volume 9... and a 16 month wait on Volume 10. ^^^IF YOU DON'T WANNA COMPREHEND THAT^^^ THAT MEANS: Every other year 2 new volumes release is basically what it looks like right now from examining recent patterns. So this year for example: Volume 10 on February 7th 2020 was our Q1-Q2 Volume while we will most likely get Volume 11 by the end of the year. Then we will get the usual year hiatus before getting our next two Volumes in 2022 The original show being 5 volumes that it covered can give us a pretty big advantage in terms of knowing when we will see Mai again on screen There is only 2 volumes awaiting adaptation currently, 3 if you want to count Volume 11.Lets say the series needs at least 5 Volumes for a 13 episode show that would give us 2 remaining volumes for a full season. This means that a production company will have 5 volumes to go with by the end of Q4 2022 ALSO Lets look at the arcs (no spoilers): In the Novels, the first 5 novels all cover a separate arc. It then deviates as 6+7 are covering the same arc thus why I think they chose make a movie for them (guessing). From what I understand the Volume 8 and 9 cover one arc and 10 is I think is a separate arc from that. (I've read bits and pieces of it, I dunno, as much as I'm invested I'd rather watch it, light novels aren't my thing so please correct me in the comments here) This is important to point out because depending on where the novel is at in terms of story once 5 volumes are released that aren't adapted there could be anything from a movie, to OVAs, ONAs, maybe a special, I mean its really anyone's guess there. Back on Production, If we look at how Season 1 was done, we see that:
Production most likely started, lets say around January-February 2018
The show released in October 2018
at the time of production, volume 8 had perhaps just been released
a movie was in planned for volume 6 + 7 before TV anime aired (we know this as it was announced before the first episode of the anime aired in Japan)
These points can show us that we need perhaps a whole 7 Volumes non-adapted before Season 2 would air on the date. IF WE ARE ASSUMING THERE WILL BE ANOTHER MOVIE AND WE ARE TO BE SAFE EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS UNLIKELY But because of the new release patterns of the novel, it'll most likely be 6 non-adapted volumes needed unless by some luck the author throws in a volume off schedule. This would happen, following the current speed of release on
with the announcement being latest in march 2023
with the announcement being latest in march 2024' Please correct me on any misinformation.
Hello! I’m still riding the wonderful wave that was our wedding weekend and thought I’d write up a breakdown to show what might be involved with a Plan B (B for bonus!). Our wedding was originally planned for May, Postponed until 9/19/2020, then the big wedding was postponed again until 9/18/2021. Our original plan is a big resort, ballroom, big brass band, 180 guests with a budget of $50k. Our all-in wedding budget is definitely in our rearview mirrors, but it was important to us to have a “plan B” small wedding this year. We didn’t set a budget for this small wedding, we sort of just worked with what we could and made the most of what we already had. Below I'll make note of costs for things that won't be repeated and were purchased with the original wedding in mind. We had 20 guests attend, plus the two of us. We had nearly everyone get tested for covid-19 prior to the weekend and every event was held outdoors. Every guest was encouraged to quarantine both prior and post the event. We reached a level of risk that we were all comfortable with. The property had a large barn on premises that would work for a covered area if there was inclement weather that would still allow for social distancing and open air- but thankfully we had beautiful weather all weekend. Venue:$2,800
Lodging for 11 guests from Friday-Monday, rehearsal dinner location, ceremony/reception location, sunday brunch location. Large Airbnb/VRBO house with two kitchens which made DIY food achievable.
This was booked initially for the big wedding as rehearsal dinner and brunch location. We decided to make it the wedding location as well for this year, and will book it again for it's original purpose next year. It has a great outdoor patio and outdoor fireplace with beautiful grounds to boot.
Catering: $Unknown. So many people helped out here that it’s impossible to even estimate the total cost of ingredients/purchases.
Rehearsal Dinner for 22 was home cooked. Premade lasagna and sides
Wedding Dinner for 22 was catered BBQ with sides home cooked.
Sunday Brunch for ~18 was home cooked waffles and other continental breakfast foods.
Cake: Baked and decorated by Bride’s Aunt as gift Photography: $2,200
This was our splurge. We love our originally booked photographer, so we booked four hours of coverage for this year’s wedding and rescheduled our original 8 hours of coverage for the big vow renewal next year.
DJ: Spotify playlist - It was AWESOME. We had two playlists, one for more casual/eating and another party dance playlist. We have two pairing bluetooth speakers that KILLED it that were a gift from the registry. Ceremony Music (Cello): $700 - After our first postponement we lost the original reception band that we booked for May due to a scheduling complication, they let us redirect our deposit to ceremony music. She was fantastic and even stayed to play for about an hour following the ceremony. Alcohol: $Unknown
Keg gifted by talented home-brewing friend
Additional beer gifted by parents of groom
Wine/champagne courtesy of parents of groom’s collection
Flowers: $250 (Wholesale online)
Friday before wedding Bride DIY’d arrangements for:
Bridal bouquet, MOH bouquet, 2 ceremony arrangements, 5 table vases, and 5 boutonnieres (Groom, Best Men, Fathers)
Also bought flower petals for aisle
DIYing was SO much fun and a great activity for Friday before wedding over mimosas. I’d recommend it to anyone.
Bride saved her “original” dress for next year and bought a second dress online from Azazie.
Groom's Attire: $1,200
Groom wore what he will wear next year as well, a custom tux and shoes purchased for ~$1,200.
Bride did all her own alterations including: Hemming dress, adjusting strap closures, shortening the train significantly and moving lace applique details, and adding a three point bustle. I might make a post specifically about this process because it was amazing and I learned so much and had so much fun.
Hair & Makeup: $150 Hair done with no trial and stylist was found one week before the wedding. When our original wedding at the resort nearby was postponed, they cancelled the wedding block, which cancelled all associated wedding rooms, which also cancelled the attached resort salon appointment I had for my wedding hair. I didn’t realize that mistake until ~2 weeks beforehand. Makeup done by Bride. Event Rentals: $50
Folding Chairs and Tables were sourced by guest’s homes. Disposable but nice looking plates/flatware/cups were purchased for the whole weekend for about 50.
Wedding Rings: ~$1,500
Technically these were purchased for the big wedding next year. But that's now a vow renewal so we'll count them here.
This is the same officiant we originally booked and rescheduled. We really liked her so we might have her come again next year for the vow renewal.
Basically everything was sourced from homes. Table cloths, vases, votives, globe lights all were already owned by parents of Bride/Groom or Bride/Groom themselves. No signage.
I’m not going to count our original save the dates and change the dates because those are technically for the event next year and I would count them in that recap. We did not send invites for this event, we just told people.
Bridal Accessories: $100
Veil from online, Shoes from department store, getting ready robe.
TOTAL: $10,300 Technically any amount spent towards this event was “overbudget” since we hadn’t planned on having a small wedding in addition to our originally planned party and thus never set a budget. This weekend was beautiful and we wouldn’t change a thing. We had a marvelous time and it was truly special. Some of these costs won't be repeated for next year's party, since we'll be using the same items (tux, shoes, rings, etc). If we could go back would we have planned this wedding from the start, instead of the big 50k party that we’re now bound to through deposits? We would definitely have given it more consideration, but at the end of the day- no. It’s important to us to not just have the beautiful, sentimental, special moments- but also to celebrate with all of our friends and families. We’re hopeful that by fall of 2021 we can celebrate sensibly. We really feel like we're getting the best of both worlds.
2020.09.23 18:11 wiglessbitch3000What we would like to see in the upcoming seasons ?
For me personally, I’m irritated that Lisseth left Chicago PD for a show that hasn’t had good ratings since like 2017 but that’s her career move , that’s on her. But anyway. I’m ready for me when it comes to Chicago PD , I want more personal and domesticated seasons like when Hailey and Adam were together and when Kim and Adam found out they were pregnant , they need to add those elements back in. So this is my list of things I would like to see or know about for the next upcoming seasons. KEVIN ATWATER What happened to his dad ( in Prison Ball in season two , he mentions that his dad is in jail but it’s never touched on again) and also what happens to his mom ? There’s no verbal confirmation of what actually happened to her ? - imagine an episode that the unit has to turn over his father’s conviction ( episode would be AMAZING) The biggest thing I would like answered is for him to find a goddamn LOVE INTEREST , LIKE ITS TIME. He has not had a love interest or anything and Lisseth stupid ass left so now they are going to push the story line back or get rid of it completely. HAILEY UPTON She came from an abusive household and yada yada yada. Yeah , it’s about time we meet her parents and her brothers. I need to see history , I need to see flashbacks , all of it. (Also , part of me doesn’t want her and Jay together. She’s his only rock at this point and I don’t think he wants to make the same mistake again 😔) But if they do , it’s not surprising , they have a great bond so if they don’t get together , I hope they can move past it. ADAM RUZEK His parents split up when he was young. We have seen Bob Ruzek , literally Adams twin because his impulsive ass got shot trying to be a superhero in Fathers and Sons. But we never heard about his mother and apparently his mother and father never get along. I wanna know his parents deal and we need to see his sister Kate again and his nephew. Also him and Kim ? I personally liked him with Hailey better because for the first time , he wasn’t rushing to get engaged or anything. They were actually taking their time but we all know how Adam is. Relationships starts off bad and ends bad. KIM BURGESS Alright. Now this one.....she pissed me off allllllll season seven. She made sense but she was doing too much. With that being said , her and Adam never had strong domesticated scenes together so hopefully , finally , they get it together because they had been at it too long and I was tired of it. I thought him and Hailey were going to push through but of course not 🙄. It’s dragged out and also , her , Adam and Kevin need to take the damn detectives exam already and get it over with. Yeah she just gonna have to be with Adam because she wasting all of our time. JAY HALSTEAD Jay always going through something. So tired of him being a superhero all the damn time and getting kidnapped....literally every season, I’m sick of that shit too. Yeah but he needs a love interest , once again, I want them partially be with their partners but I also want them to be with and find other people. I just need him to sit his ass down somewhere. HANK VOIGHT Yeah , so when we gonna give him a love interest ? I’m thinking about someone who’s like older and quirky kind of. I don’t know why but like Leslie Mann’s characters in movies like in the Other Woman just seems to work for me , with the quirky attitude and soft emotional heart on her sleeve. - aww imagine a woman like that making Hank soft Also I would like to see Morgan and Daniel ( Justin’s widow and son) to make a reappearance. TRUDY PLATT Amy Morton who plays Platt has been doing Broadway stuff so that’s why we hardly see her buttttt I want a patrol story line in with her. It’s just not the same anymore but nothing ever been the same since Sophia left 🤭. ANYWAY , I would love to have new people on patrol. ( I DONT KNOW WHY WE FORGOT ABOUT GARCIA ) - aww imagine if like Kevin’s siblings wanted to move back to Chicago and got on patrol to be like their big brother - or one of Haileys brothers doing the same But also I want to see more old people fluff with her and Randy because the way he was with her in season 4’s All Cylinders Firing ? He love her mean ass lmao. I’m personally the type of person who doesn’t like the most tiniest of plot holes at all. ( like I’m still irritated about a lot of the plot holes and characters brought up to only be irrelevant) (I really just want more emotional and domestic seasons for the majority for everyone) Also I WANT ANOTHER CROSSOVER COUPLE , YALL BUMP INTO EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME AND NEVER DATED ? so these are things that I was love to see in the future. What are some things you guys would like to see from the show ?
2020.09.23 18:06 protectedneckSuggestions on Improving Modules
I've run several of the 5e modules WOTC has put out over the past couple of years, and I've played in a few more as a player. Overall I've had a fun time with them and I would say that they've been a good experience. However it's not been without its challenges. There's some serious organizational and structural problems that need to be overcome in order to successfully run a module. What can be done to fix this, either as a DM or as a request to WOTC? Thankfully there's a few easy steps. Create a timeline When a module starts mentioning dates, I find that it's extremely helpful to have these organized into a timeline. Timelines allow you to establish the history of the setting. It helps you create a more realistic world because characters and clues can reference a firmly rooted history. It also helps prevent contradictions, in the event that your players start asking questions about history inside the module. An excellent example of why this is important is in Tomb of Annihilation. The lost city of Omu, if you're just reading the descriptive text of the module, seems like this ancient place that's untouched by civilization for eons. Except not really. It only lost connection to the outside world a hundred years ago. There's a good chance that non-humans living in Chult have a distinct memory of visiting Omu in their lifetime, and humans will definitely have relatives who were aware of it. Maybe it's kind of like a bogeyman in their culture ("don't wander too far in the jungle or you'll disappear like Omu!"). Knowing this gives you a good frame of reference for how to present information to your players. But that information (pretty vital, I think) is only available in a single page half-way through the module and mentioned nowhere else. Establish motivation The absolute worst feeling when running a module as a DM is to present a quest or event to the players and have them go "why would I want to do this?" Characters AND players have to have a good reason to be risking their lives. Sometimes the temptation of treasure is enough, but when you start getting into world-threatening levels of importance your players might not be so inclined to help. When you plan out your adventure, think about WHY the characters and players would want to participate. Maybe an NPC that they particularly like is asking for help or is in danger. Maybe something related to their backstory can pop up, spurring them to act. Maybe the party are the only people who recognize how great the danger is, and they are unable to convince anyone else to help them. In Storm King's Thunder, DMs really benefit from figuring out how to establish good motivations for their players, because the book is ZERO help in this. The party seems to be the only people in the world doing anything about the giant threat that is rampaging about the world. At multiple points, my players actually asked me "does anyone else care that this is happening? We're the only ones fighting the giants!" I ended up relying heavily on emphasizing that my players had been specifically marked by the Allfather to resolve the dispute and that they were essentially acting as his emissaries. Looking back, I wished I had better established that some of the giants were actually good so that I could use them to ask for help from the players. Foreshadow The modern 5e modules are all broken into chapters. The problem with this is that many modules do not do a good job establishing a bridge between chapters. The DM can sometimes be left struggling to figure out how to get the players to participate in the next chapter because it kind of comes out of nowhere. It can also cause modules to feel disjointed, where the beginning adventures don't have any bearing on the later adventures and NPCs that were previously established get left in the dust, wasting valuable roleplaying and relationship building. The solution to this is to always read ahead. See if there are any characters, objects, or story elements from future chapters that can be applied earlier in the adventure. Or seeing if characters and stories from earlier chapters can be extended into later chapters. Is there a great, big threat that needs to be tackled at the end of the campaign? Well, you'd better make sure to mention them early and often. A perfect example of this is found in Tomb of Annihilation. When the players get to Omu they find out that it's inhabited by yuan-ti lead by a dude named Ras Nsi. If you're running the book as-written, they have zero reason to know who this dude is or why he matters (also the way he's written in the book has SUCH wasted potential, but that's not relevant to the topic). So if you're preparing this adventure, you need to make sure to include clues in previous chapters that establish who he is and a bit of his history. Maybe the players find a journal on the corpse of one of his undead lieutenants. Or they speak with an NPC who references the history he has with the area. Also you can include yuan-ti scouting parties as the players get closer to Omu so it's a little bit more natural for the players to stumble on their headquarters. Pick a path This is something that's come up a good number of times in 5e modules and is sort of their defining characteristic. They include a lot of "you can do 1 of these 3 things". Whether that's what town to visit and what giant fortress to assault in Storm King's Thunder or what villain you want in Waterdeep: Dragon Heist. It's cool that you're being given options but that comes at a real cost. More time spent developing separate options means less time honing and polishing the existing content. It's kind of weird in that it's been presented as allowing DMs more replay value (or streamers more variety). Here's the deal: pick one path and ignore the rest. Pretend they don't exist. Cross them out if you have to. Your time is best spent focusing on one above the rest. This helps you focus on foreshadowing, as well. Remember all those cool NPCs from Bryn Shander in Chapter 2 of Storm King's Thunder? Well they don't show up anywhere else in the book because the book doesn't know that you're going to pick Bryn Shander. Just as a note: if you're running Waterdeep: Dragon Heist run the Alexandrian version, where you get to use all four factions. Trust me it's way better in a lot of ways. Start better Frankly most of the modules in 5e have ATROCIOUS openings. SKT has you gaining 5 levels in about 3 hours in a location that you'll never ever see again. ToA has you TELEPORTED to a new continent by a lady who's basically going to pay you $50 to solve a global soul-destroying crisis. HotDQ has your level 1 players forced to go storm a city under siege by an adult dragon. Out of the Abyss has your players stuck in jail with like 10 other NPCs which is a pain to run. A good opening to a module does a few things: it establishes that the party is working together for a common goal, it introduces the themes of the module, and it flows into the main adventure. One of the reasons why Lost Mines of Phandelver is so highly-rated is that it does the first and last of those two very well, especially if you're going to go into a Forgotten Realms module like Storm King's Thunder. The themes can be added in later by the DM. You can always make your own adventures to start with, but presumably if you're running a module it's because you want to have some of the work done for you. In that case, I would recommend looking on DM's Guild. Many modules have alternative openings made by users. For example, Cellar of Death is an incredible alternative opening for Tomb of Annihilation. And Adventurer's League has multiple level 1-4 adventures for every module that's been released. These are tangentially related to the content and can be pretty linear, but at least it's a good jumping off point! Take notes I have definitely fallen into the trap of "Oh, I don't need to write that down, it's in the book." Only to completely forget where in the book that little piece of info is written down. If I had taken notes, I wouldn't have this problem! When I read a module, if it's in a PDF or on Roll20, I always have a google doc sheet open with my notes (and references to the page where the info is located in case there's more info there I need). If I'm reading a physical copy, I'll use sticky notes. The biggest thing that I focus on when taking notes is if I have any questions. If I'm reading the book that has all the answers in it and I have questions, then that means either some information is missing or my players will have similar questions. Ignore the Sandbox Some modules include sections of wide-open play where the players are allowed to explore around on their own without a specific quest or mission guiding them. In just about all cases these are the weakest parts of these modules and where DMs will need to put most of the work in. The problem is that it's hard to connect a sandbox to a module. The best modules are essentially breadcrumb trails leading from idea to idea. But that sort of goes against the philosophy of sandboxes, which are supposed to be character and exploration driven, potentially without any set goal. It's also jarring to go from wide-open exploration to "on-rails" adventuring. I would suggest ignoring the sandbox option, if it's given to you. Focus instead on quests that can guide the players to interesting things (lets be honest, some locations and events are more interesting than others). The sandbox is still there if the players want to go off the beaten track a little, but you're able to prepare a more focused adventure if you provide more tangible and concrete events to the players. An example of a bad sandbox is Storm King's Thunder, where players wander aimlessly around ALL of western Faerun until the DM gets bored and brings in Harshnag and resumes the story. If you flip that to where the players are LOOKING for Harshnag, then now you've got a more guided adventure that actually motivates the players. A good psuedo-sandbox would be found in Waterdeep: Dragon Heist. The faction missions found in Chapter 2 allow the players to meet interesting people around the city and really get a feel for what the city is like, all at their own pace. It also gives them tools for later, as the connections they make will stick around. But this isn't a true sandbox, since at the end of the day it's just faction missions you can do around town. A strange exception might be Ghosts of Saltmarsh, which is definitely at its weakest and most derivative when following the example adventures. This is a module that is at its best when it's player driven. The entire appeal, to me, of this book is that it gives DMs tools to allow the players to become sea-faring adventurers doing their own things along the coast. If you DON'T run this adventure as a wide-open setting, it can feel disjointed, as none of the smaller adventures provided link together in any meaningful way and are all variations of "someone important asks you to do a thing." Be willing to trim This is definitely the hardest for me. You look at the book, you see all the options available to you. You see how much CONTENT there is. Wow! If you ran this whole thing and saw everything, you could have a 2 year campaign on your hands! Wow... That's... two years. Where you're stuck playing this adventure. And you don't know if the players are really going to like it. And all those other cool campaign books are going to come out in the meantime... You gotta trim the fat. Some content in modules is better than other content. Some sections are just not as good as others. Your time is limited and valuable. It's hard wrangling the players just to meet up every week or two to play a game they LIKE. You shouldn't waste that time with trash mobs and boring quests. You should be willing and able to get rid of the stuff that you don't like and that looks like it's going to be uninteresting. I'm not saying that you should speedrun modules, I'm just saying that you need to be willing to delete some content in order to meet the needs of your group. Also some adventures just have weak points that don't add anything. I found Omu in Tomb of Annihilation to be a chore and the Fane of the Night Serpent to be wholly uninteresting. If I were to run it again, I would genuinely skip it! I even wrote up a guide on how I'd recommend skipping it. If you see something that you don't like, don't do it. Cut it or change it. Knowing when to do this comes with experience, but once you've figured out how you like to DM and what your group likes, you'll be better off. And your group, in all likelihood, won't know that you changed a thing. It feels awful when a session doesn't work and your only excuse is "Yeah, I just did what the module says!" Conclusion I'm positive that I missed a lot of tips and ideas for improving modules. There's a lot that goes into this and sometimes we make changes without even thinking about it. I just hope that these were able to help you when preparing for your games! If you can think of any other suggestions or techniques for betting modules, please feel free to let me know!
2020.09.23 18:00 ThrowRA577I95322GF [30F] going on week long trip to vegas, staying at single male friends house. Am I being insecure?
I feel odd asking for advice on an internet forum but felt it could be wise to get some unbiased perspective. I have a relatively new girlfriend, we've been together for a couple months. Hit it off very well, have a ton in common, similar friends. By all means it seems meant to be. After about a month of dating she told me she has a vegas trip planned that she goes to where they definitely party pretty hard (drugs/alcohol). She went last year and partied with people she met at burning man (huge desert party). She tells me she hangs out with some really wealthy older guys who have huge boats and big mansions. Seems like a great time honsetly. So I was all for her having a good time in Vegas and having fun with friends. I never have been a possessive or controlling boyfriend. Then she showed me some pictures of them, shes spooning one of the older guys in a bikini. The other girls are pretty hot also in bikinis. I didn't like seeing that as it just made me feel weird about their age gap. The feelings of insecurity and just uncomfortableness started when she told me she was staying at that older guys house. I asked if anyone else was staying there and she said no just her because all the other girls lived in there area. (Why she didn't ask to stay with one of them I dont know). I asked if he was with anyone because she had told me he was dating one of her friends in the group. She told me they had broken up and he was single. This man is almost 50 and his previous girlfriend was around me and my girlfriend age of 30. So not wanting to be jealous and insecure I told her I felt uncomfortable with her staying at this man's house, especially sense he is into younger women and he's single. How it seemed so obvious that all these single hot young women were using these rich older guys for their money, boats, etc. It just seems like something a single girl would do not one who's in a relationship. And she alone staying there, etc... She tells me to trust her, that I'm the only guy she wants. A bunch of reassuring things like that. But for some reason I still felt uneasy about it. At one point she said she was cancelling the trip, that actually made me feel really special. But at the same time I didn't want her cancelling a trip for me. I was very confused at what to do. I ended up telling her that I felt very uncomfortable with her staying at that man's house but I trusted her. I really dont knke what else I could have done. Well she left for the trip this morning and I feel really weird about it already. Any and all advice is welcomed and thank you to anyone who's read this whole thing.
2020.09.23 17:55 fatima_mdxI seriously wonder what goes on inside some of those delusionals heads??
Y’ALL I’ll try to keep it very short. Okay so bts uploaded a live yesterday right? And some people were arguing about whether one of the members actually mentioned Gfriend or not but that’s not the point. (I’ll have to say that IF they did mention them and the staff edited the subtitles bc of some ridiculous fans then I’m really disappointed in bh but ofc not surprised) So let’s say they didn’t mention them okay? Then we’ll go even further and admit sure they never (big eyeroll) use or record in the same building. Heck we’ll go even further and say they never even MET each other! All right, now what? They don’t meet other girls at parties, clubs, award shows, the fucking supermarket?? I’m genuinely so confused as to how their brains work? Do they think they can wish those things into existence? That if they keep saying that the boys are never around girls that it somehow will become reality? Is this some sort of coping mechanism? Will Jungkook or V suddenly knock on your door and ask you to marry him now? They can be AND PROBABLY ARE with their girlfriends or boyfriends AS WE SPEAK. I don’t care what anyone says I refuse to believe they aren’t actually taken or at least dating. So can’t we make it easier for them? It’s happening anyways and none of y’all delusionals can change anything about it. Edit: just to clarify I don’t mean that the boys are dating gfriend members (which can be true for all we know) but I just meant in general!
2020.09.23 17:50 ligmaenigmaOhms is going to be a huge part of my life.
Hey y'all- I want to start this by saying how I got introduced to deftones. If you don't wanna hear it, just skip the next paragraph. The year was 2017. I was 13 at the time, turning 14. My mom has a habit of playing her 30,000+ song play list while cooking or cleaning, and Change happened to play one time. I had asked her what the band's name was, and I found out it was Deftones. I checked them out. My Own Summer was a song I recognized too, so I decided to give this band a chance. And for 3 years of my life, they gradually became my favorite band. My music taste had evolved from only listening to Eminem in 2016, the typical angsty teen stuff. Then Nirvana. Then slowly, I got more and more metal. Foo Fighters, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Metallica, Pantera, Slipknot, Korn... and eventually I listened to the entire Deftones catalog. By 2018, I liked every single Deftones song that came out and honestly, even Pink Cellphone. I don't think it should have been on SNW, but it isn't bad song. Deftones was my favorite band. I didn't stop listening to the other ones, but I'd always listen to Deftones and I'd always fall asleep to Self Titled. As the years progressed, Deftones have been there for me, for every major event in my life. I drowned and nearly died August 6th of 2018, and the song I heard after that was Beware. I had a crush on a girl, and for the first time it was a big one, and Deftones was there for me. From Diamond Eyes for the happy stage, to Self Titled for the part where I got rejected since I was very socially awkward at the time. In 2019, I met a girl in July who I quickly became very good friends with. We shared interests such as art, music, listening to Joji. We both went through a very rough path in 2019. I had fallen in love with her by September, but she was not ready for a relationship yet due to information I cannot disclose out of respect for her privacy. Well, as the time progressed, I was listening to all the Deftones records fittingly to how our friendship and such was going. In October, we realized the feeling of love was mutual. By November, we were unofficially dating. In December, the 31st right as the clock struck midnight, we had our first kiss. And on January 20th of 2020 we started officially dating. Our relationship is great. We help each other with our issues and work together to fix what we can. We love to spend time together, and we love each other more than anything. Things went great for most of the year. We've had rough patches, but we come out on top and in the end it only strengthens our bond. I showed her the band, and she loves Deftones. So we do listen together, specifically the Outer Space playlist on YouTube, when time is appropriate if you catch my meaning. And now, it's September. My birthday is coming up in October, I'll be 17. Our anniversary was on the 20th, we've been together 8 months. And Deftones are coming out with a new album in just 2 days. This band has been there for me on the most crucial years of my life. Their music, their style and their philosophy helped guide me through my most difficult times and helped shape me and build me as a person. Without Deftones, I wouldn't be here today. And after all this time of their music being there for me, I can finally be there for their music and give Ohms a listen at midnight when it comes out on streaming services. I love this band, and I'm very excited to hear this album. And the closer track, "Ohms" seems to sum up my life right about now. 2020 has been both the best and the worst year of my life, but my relationship and their music helped me keep myself calm and collected through it. Time won't change this, this promise we made. Sorry for the long post, and sorry if any spelling is off. My first language isn't English. Rock on, people.
2020.09.23 17:34 Academic-Map4857I dreamt i was pregnant and happy
Let me be clear that i dont want kids for a while. I do eventually but i had this dream that i was pregnant. My boyfriend and i were sitting in our apartment and i got up to take a pregnancy test. It said positive and i felt very excited but nervous to tell my bf. When i walked back in the livingroom to tell my bf suddenly my stomach was very big. My boyfriend already knew and he hugged me and we talked about the due date. He said i had four weeks to go and to my surprise was very supportive. He took me to the store to buy clothing for the baby but we were buying clothing for a fully grown child. Like that would fit a 6 year old maybe. And it was girl clothing. My friend showed up and gave me like a giant stack of gift cards. Like 30 of them. I went to pay for the clothing and the checkout lady told me it was okay and that theyd already been paid for. Very strange dream. There was more but thats as much as i could remember. Could this dream have any meanings?
2020.09.23 17:25 ThatUser9624 [M4F] East Coast US or Online - Lets throw pillows at each other!
Be anywhere from 18 to no more than 30.
Be able to take a joke and hold a conversation.
Don't be into smoking cigs (but weed is fine) and no drugs.
Someone who at least eventually wants a real relationship.
Understand priorities! This is a bigge; I can be busy too, however I always find the time to talk to or at least text the person that I like. No one is that busy constantly. It's not fair if I'm the only one trying to talk. If you say you like talking to me, then actually show it
The title kind of sums up my personality. Yes I can be serious when needed, but all work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy... Don't take life too serious. My personality is playful and affectionate. Expect cuddles, random kisses, pillows thrown at you when you wanna get sassy, random jump scares, a truck load of corny and whack jokes, the list literally goes on.. Some may call it childish, but again, life doesn't have to be always serious. If I see a bounce house like with those big colorful balls in it, your options is to either join me or hold my shoes. I just like to have fun; what people think is irrelevant especially since they're not in the relationship. Besides all that though: I have a college degree in technology, a steady job, my own car that I paid for, many goals in life, currently no kids, nothing on my record besides a speeding ticket and putting pineapple on pizza, and perfect spotless credit (don't get this confused with not being able to afford stuff because I pay 0 interest, I'll talk more on this later). I'm a nerd when it comes to that and computer tech stuff. One of those goals is to keep building up my business like building computers and more. I'm the type that's MOSTLY open minded in all senses. Most things I will try at least once EXCEPT eating sushi and eating ass (I'll explain the sushi part if you want but do I really need to explain the eating booty part? Lol). I'm into a variety of things such as eating (foodie!), cooking, working out, traveling, gaming, drawing, certain sports, horror movies, music and figuring out how things work. 420 friendly even though I've never smoked anything, drug free, and I would only drink sometimes and not all the time. I recently just turned 24 too in August. Post went longer than expected (because there's a lot to say about me), so I'll end it with this: I'm not racist and I don't have a preference or requirement for race for dating. I'm mixed black/caramel skin tone, so don't message me especially if you're racist. You're cutting yourself short if you only date a certain race. More in messages if you decide to try me, because I guarantee you that I'm not like most guys.
2020.09.23 17:21 QuirkyCoder3I finally accepted myself and I’ve never felt so truly happy:’)
I(21F) have always had “girl crushes” as I used to call them, and convinced myself that I was straight I just admired beautiful women. I recently got out of my first ever serious relationship(with a guy), I was so unhappy and started thinking that maybe I would act on a girl crush and go on a date with a girl after breaking up with him - in my mind this was just to spite men. A couple days ago I changed my tinder to show everyone instead of just men, and WOW these girls are gorgeous. Every time I match with a girl I get butterflies and am so nervous and flustered - I basically forget how to flirt lol. The most beautiful girl asked me out on a date and the feeling of excitement I have is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. How could someone so stunning want to go on a date with me?! I have not been able to stop smiling these past couple days since I admitted to myself that I am bisexual. Only my two closest friends know and are very supportive. One of them is also bi so I knew there would be no judgement only love, but my very best friend is a straight women(and can be a bit judgy sometimes) and she told me I’m the same person she’s always loved and that there’s nothing wrong or different with me which meant so SO much. I am so glad that I got out of my previous relationship and explored my heart to figure out what it is that makes me happy!! It is a huge relief to not deny such a big part of myself anymore. I still am not ready to tell a bunch of people, but telling it to the most important people in my life is enough for me for now:-)
2020.09.23 17:19 AKanadian47Girlfriend Changed Mind On Moving In (M27)/(F26)
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 7 months now and as a whole things have been absolutely incredible. We both came out of pretty bad situations with our previous relationships (both cheated on) and have clicked from day one. We have both met parents parents have met each other and we have been pretty much inseparable since we got together. She had a lease that ended at the end of this month and a few months back I asked her if she would like to move in with me until my lease was up and we could get a fresh place together. She cried, said no one had ever asked her to make such a big step and that she wanted to move in. Fast forward to middle of last month we had our first little tiff if you will. We had made plans to go to church with her parents and the night before she was invited out on a hike by a friend. I was invited but really did not want to go, and even though this was not right I made it obvious that I really didn't want her to go. She bailed on the plans and after she did I could tell she had a resentment toward me over it. After this things got a little weird for a couple of weeks. We got caught in the are you okay loop, both of us had for the first time let our insecurities show. It took a while to get out of this loop. After the second week of this period she sat me down and said that as the time of her lease end grew closer she was starting to feel more and more anxious about moving in. Said that she wanted so badly to lay a strong foundation before moving in and starting a life. She has explained that she has two big factors in wanting to wait and get an apartment for the remaining 6 months of my lease.
She says she feels really uncomfortable with the fact that me and my ex lived in the house together. Says when I'm not there no matter how hard she tries she can't seem to make it feel like home. Says she feels like she is in someone else's space.
She says while we continue to get to know each other having a space away from mine that she can get away to if she needs brings her a lot of comfort, that if she moved now and something happened she would feel trapped. She continues to say that she wants to give us this next six months until my lease is up to continue to grow and get to know each other.
With all of this she has said many times that she in no way wants space from me. Says that she doesn't care if it just turns into an expensive storage unit. Say's ideally we don't need to spend a single night away from each other but just having it helps her relax. Logically I can't make any sense of any of this. It feels like a step backwards because she has not stayed a night at her house in over 4 months. This whole situation has been killing me and brining on a crazy level of overthinking, and anxiety. What do you guys think?
2020.09.23 17:18 EZbiterLife enmeshed with avoidant who's gone silent, don't know how to proceed.
First: I don't think she's coming back. I wish she would, part of me hopes, but I think she's done. Everything I've researched and all the advice from everyone here points to the undeniable conclusion that she needs space from me, that any further attempts to reconcile from my end are only going to make things worse right now. An emotional novelesque text about how much I love her, the things I'm afraid of, my willingness to give space if that's what she needs, and how I wish she would just tell me what she wants is what made her go completely dark on me. I've attempted to contact her only twice in the weeks since I realized she was no longer answering me, the last time to calmly and without emotion ask if we could talk sometime, that it didn't have to be now or about anything important. I know it was iffy to text at all, but I wanted the last thing for her to see from me to be that I still want her to reach out, and that we can skip the emotional scene where I tell her how horribly all of this has made me feel and how grateful I am to have her back. I just couldn't stand the possibility of her not being in my life ever again over any worries that I might be upset and throw what she's done in her face. If I never see her again because she doesn't want me in her life, I have to accept that. But if she someday decided she'd like me to be in her life again, but then didn't reach out over fear of the emotional hassle that reconnecting would entail....that thought is unbearable. So I texted, short and sweet, and left it at that. Second: I realize that even if she did reach out, I couldn't have the same relationship I did with her before. I don't want to "re-merge" with her, not after this, it clearly wasn't working for her anymore and it has devastated me. I just want her in my life, in some small capacity. Whatever other weird and unsustainable intimacy grew out of it, at base, she's my best friend and I'm hers, we've needed each other and been good for one another for five out of the six years since we met. I'm not Glen Close in 'fatal attraction' or Jennifer Jason Leigh in 'single white female' (apologies to millennials and beyond for the dated references. Read: psycho-creepster). When I get full-blown AP on someone, there are literal years of foundation and mutual progression toward exponentially increased intimacy underlying the dissolution of boundaries. I've been putting a lot of thought toward why my relationships with avoidants tend to go so uncommonly smoothly for so uncommonly long (I once managed this for 9 years before things started going downhill) before the inevitable running away from me as far and as fast as possible. It's not like I have any fewer boundaries at the end than I do at the beginning.... I think that maybe I am an ideal chemistry set for avoidants, I have no boundaries, but I am always patiently waiting for permission to love them as much as I want to. It makes me safe for them. Gives them total control over the emotional landscape. They can poke an emotion here, prod one there, and then step back to see what happens, and really, I'll wait for them to call in the aftermath, I'll only show up when they want me. I'll give anything they request and I'll never ask for anything. In this way they can explore their own capacity for closeness and intimacy in a relatively safe setting. It's just a theory, but it seems to fit. The problem is, these relationships evolve, the avoidants, feeling uncommonly safe, push the intimacy envelope every bit as much as I hope they will. This inevitably results in one of two things: I am recategorized as "wife" or (if it is a friendship relationship, usually with a married straight girl) as "sister". I am zealously made family with all rights and privileges thereof urged upon me. This functions to everybody's liking for years, but this is where I have to disagree with the common wisdom that it's APs who always want more--I mean, I do, but so has every avoidant with whom I've ever been intimate. They want more and more and more, just like I do. They want more and more and more.....until they don't. I don't pretend to know what line gets crossed that finally triggers them after years of gleefully wallowing in me. Sometimes I suspect that they just eventually get tired of it all, whereas I could happily keep imploding into each other until I'm dead--on my worst days I note that (in part) with the benefit of my constant and tireless contribution/support in every aspect of their lives, everyone whom I have loved leaves marginally more successful and independent than they arrived, i.e., they don't need me anymore. The present issue: I want to give her space, I don't want to bother her and make things worse, I want to respect her boundaries, but we have not lived all these years in a vacuum. You'd think it would be fairly simple this time around, because we aren't married or anything, but really that's just complicating things further I think. If we WERE married, or some defacto version thereof, then before she went silent, there probably would have been a necessary conversation about the children who were zealously made my god kids during the gung-ho "you're my sister and we're all a big family" years, the kids to whom I've been constant babysitter, ride to school-functions giver, protector, emotional support, homework helper, holiday organizer, dance-party thrower...two of them, from the moment they were born. I love these kids and they love me, I have always been encouraged to treat them as I would my own, which is exactly what I've done. When the eldest was old enough to take over babysitting duty, I was tasked to check in on them when their parents are at work, which has evolved into a tradition of me bringing them snacks and hanging out with them for a bit most days during the week. They look forward to it and so do I. Which brings us to the first text (I mentioned there were 2 at the beginning of this ramble) with which I broke radio silence. I didn't know what she had or hadn't told them, but I couldn't bear the thought of another day going by with them wondering why their god mother dropped off the face of the earth and abandoned them, so I texted her to say that I had planned to bring the kids some popsicles, but wasn't sure if it was okay. No response. So eventually (and this is about as assertive as I get) I wrote: "Okay, I guess I'm gonna go grab popsicles for the kids and say hi for a few, if this isn't okay, please tell me, it would be twice as humiliating and hurtful to find out when I get there carrying a box of melting popsicles." This was more emotional than it should have been, please bear in mind that it had been a really rough few days since my life got jerked out from under me without explanation, and I hadn't yet read as extensively how much avoidants hate this stuff and interpret it as emotional extortion. I just wanted her to know how awful it would be for me to show up not knowing that I wasn't supposed to, when she could just tell me and spare everyone involved the trauma. She knows that I'd respect whatever she said. This is the last communication I ever got from her: I'm sure the kids will be happy to see you. So now I live in bizzaaro-land, where the person I love most in the world stopped speaking to me with no explanation, where I'm trying to give her the space she needs, but I'm also at her house a few times a week while she's at work, checking on and hanging out with her children (can I expect her to let me know when and if this becomes untenable to her?!? There's a hazy line between "devoted godmother" and "crazy lady who won't get out of my life" here). It's clear that she hasn't told the kids any more than she's told me, as they keep asking my why I'm leaving instead of staying for dinner. I can't tell them anything because she hasn't told me anything, and even if she had, it's not really my place. Acceptance of the fact that I've lost her should bring some level of peace or fatalism, but I'm just getting increasingly more anxious counting down the days because one of their birthdays is approaching (I've NEVER missed a birthday) and I don't know if it's appropriate to show up, but I know she (the child) is expecting me to be there. All of the available information dictates that I can't text to ask without triggering my avoidant who needs space from me, and holiday season is upon us! One of the girls was telling me how much she was looking forward to the apple cider I make for our tradition of carving pumpkins together at my house every year and it broke my fucking heart. I hadn't even considered all of our holiday traditions yet, and I didn't know what to say to her. I managed to force a smile and get out that she could have my cider recipe any time she wants before making an excuse to leave and crying in my car. It's like a divorce, but less considerate. With a divorce (I've been through them, with kids involved) you at least get to have an idea of what the expectations are, what's appropriate, what isn't, a strict delineation of stated boundaries. With this....whatever it is, I'm flailing, the last thing in the world I want is to not respect somebody, or to abandon anybody, or to make things weird or awkward for anybody, or to be a nuisance, or to be neglectful. It's like I'm attempting to respectfully pilot an airplane through a residential neighborhood with no instructions, no radar, and the windows blacked out. I'm doing my best, but I don't know how I can heal or know if I'm doing anything I'm supposed to be doing under these circumstances.
Posted this at AstralProjection, but I figured it should have it's place here too for all the truth seekers out there. So, story time. I want to share some crazy events that have happened in my life recently, and I'd love to hear some thoughts on this. So here goes. This dates back to January 2020, shortly after my first and only two Acid trips. I was working at a sales company here in the Netherlands. At the time I started spending most of my free-time doing research on the possibility of Parallel Universes, NDE's, OBE's, and of course, being a very intense (lucid) dreamer since I was a kid, Astral Projection was something that caught my interest since I had never heard of it before. My interest in these topics had grown so much after my Acid trips that it felt like that was the real start of my spiritual journey. So, fast forward 1 month later. To paint this picture for you a bit better. The company I was working with was new, only starting up, and one of my best friends at the time was working for the biggest company in the field I was working in, cold calling for business gas & electricity contracts. I'l call them "conglomerate" for clarity for the duration of this post. The company I was working at had some internal issues, leading to their decision to end the company. One of the owners, whom I had kept a good relationship with, told me he would have something better for me in the future, I kept that in mind and started moving. Start of February, I decided to join my friend at that company, the big conglomerate in the field we're working in. We were working together previously, before I went solo, at a television/internet provider in The Netherlands so it was a nice prospect to work with him again. Something just never sat right with me, because of the things I had heard about how this conglomerate deals with their agents at this new spot, but I decided it was worth a try. Fast forward to mid March. We are working at this company together, and we both get a call from an old friend, who was a colleague of us at another job many, many years ago. He told us about a new opportunity for us two to become Sales Managers at this new company, and that it's going to be bigger than the conglomerate we were working for right now. We were sceptical at first, but we felt like maybe it was meant to be, so we decided to check the place out. First day on the job, we were SOLD. It felt like we could get true recognition and appreciation here, and finally settle and make a lot of money here. Party after work at the office, with an owner who's life is a party every single day (today it was a party for one of his kids, I had just seen on his Story lmao). Back to the main reason why I'm posting this on here. Me and my friend were having extraordinary "deja-vu's" at this new job. One time it even happened simultaniously. We were both SHOCKED. Both having the feeling that we were at this office, this company, the feeling that we both had been here before. Seen these faces who we never even knew before. At that time, I had just started to meditate and I wanted to try Astral Projection. Mind you, my dreams were very vivid and I recognize so many places I have visited in my dreams, alternate versions of my own surroundings and I've seen these spots multiple times. And I was sure I had developed a thick skin for mystical experiences after those LSD trips I had. So, tried to project, first two attempts my tired ass fell asleep immediately. Third time I wanted to do it right. I woke myself up at 3 AM, meditated, and layed on my back and closed my eyes. "mind awake, body asleep." was the mantra I kept in my head. I was feeling the vibrations, and I did the rope technique to leave my body. I started floating, and when I landed in my room and knew I was projecting, I got pulled back to my body almost immediately. I was shocked that an OBE is actually possible with a simple method like that. Reality was no longer based on logic for me. It verified, for me , that this universe is way deeper than this programmed, processed tv show most of us are living in in our daily lives. It gave the research I was doing during most of my free time more meaning too. So, yes, I projected. It was awesome BUT..... short, and pretty fucking scary. For how abnormal 2020 felt at the time already, COVID happened and we had to work from home, but it didn't take too long before we were needed at the office. Fast forward to mid June, and things were starting to go downhill at this new place we were working. Manager bonuses were promised but never received, and it was a MESS. It turned out that this company was doing everything to be bigger and better than the conglomerate we were working at before, with no succes. Owners who were out for revenge, rather than trying to run a succesful business, while the potential was definitely there. Enough was enough, and we had decided to return to the "conglomerate" we were working at and start with a clean slate, at a safe place. So yeah. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago, the owner of the first sales company I was working with in January, offered me a position as a sales manager for his new company, top floor of a skyscraper, with a long-term vision that just felt RIGHT. I got home after taking a look at this new spot, with new excitement and hope. I meditated, and decided it was time to try and project again. I set my intention (purpose) and... I fell asleep. Woke up in a Lucid Dream, in an alternate universe that I have been in multiple times in my dreams. The setting of the train station I was at was exactly the same as one I've seen in one of my previous dreams. I saw so many things from other dreams that I remember, it felt like a mash up of the most memorable ones, rolled into one, confusing lucid dream... and everything was in reverse. Time. The direction in which the trains went to etc. I woke up from this dream, took a cold shower, went to work and when I was waiting for my train to arrive when it suddenly all hit me at once. our timelines felt like they were reversed January 2020: Working alone at sales company. friend works at the big conglomerate. February 2020: Go to the "conglomerate" to work with my friend after company fell through. March 2020: Me and my friend go to a new, ambitious company, have multiple deja vu's, where everything felt familiar, and something about that whole time felt surreal. June 2020: Things went left. We decide to go back to the "conglomerate" together, to start over, and make our money as sales agents. End of August 2020: I get offered a position at a new business, owned by the owner of the first company I was working at, whom I have kept a good relationship with. I return home. Friend stays at "conglomerate", the company he always felt right with, his home. I wanted to share this because every single thing that happens in our life has a reason, and sometimes we have to go back to go forward. And honestly, how crazy is all of it? The Deja Vu's, the last lucid dream I had where everything was in REVERSE, after trying to Astral Project, and how our timeline reversed from June till September. The Magic of this Universe will always keep me in a thought loop, but.. that's what the Truth Seeker in me lives for. The choices we make often takes us back to the same place, in order for us to.... make the right choice? I don't know. But If you have gotten this far, thank you for reading this mess!!! Anyone ever had similar experiences like this? Please share them with me, I would love to know. One.
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